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Lesson Three: Sample Outline and Essay
(by
EssayEdge.com) |
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Below you will find a sample outline
and the essay written from that outline.
OUTLINE
Paragraph 1 (Introduction)
I. Leading sentence:
"In 1979, in the Soviet city
of Odessa on the Black Sea,
a young man confronted a
problem that would forever
alter the course of his
existence."
II.
Connection between opening
and overall
application:
"This 17-year-old Jewish
man, who wanted most to
become a doctor, was denied
the possibility of admission
to medical school because of
his religion. It could have
been an end to a dream."
Paragraph 2 (First Supporting
Point)
I. Transition: "I was
that man."
II. Supporting point:
"My determination to become
a physician, and my parents'
support of that ambition,
turned our lives upside
down."
III. Evidence: "When
we finally arrived in
America in 1980, we had to
make our way to Seattle
without funds, friends, or
command of English. My
father, who is an engineer,
was reduced to working as a
plumber, while I began each
day at 5 a.m. unloading
trucks. Life was a struggle.
. ."
Paragraph 3 (Second Supporting
Point)
I. Transition sentence:
"Within a year of my arrival
here, after attending night
school to learn the
language, I was able to
obtain a job as an X-ray
orderly at a local
hospital."
II. Supporting point:
"In this position, and later
as an admitting aide, I was
able over a period of three
years to learn much more
about American medicine."
III. Evidence: "I saw
suffering, healing, death,
and all of the other
constants that make up any
hospital environment. I had
an opportunity to observe
surgeries, from mastectomies
to hysterectomies and
bypasses, and to see
firsthand the importance of
positive doctor-patient
interactions."
Paragraph 4 (Third Supporting
Point)
I. Transition sentence:
"Beginning in 1984, I worked
as a volunteer in the
autopsy room at my
university's pathology
department, amassing more
than 500 hours' experience."
II. Supporting point:
"Just as the hospital
provided me with a chance to
observe diagnosis and
treatment, the autopsy room
gave me a chance to find out
what goes wrong, what causes
death."
III. Evidence: "I
prepared organs for
examination by medical
students as well as assisted
in autopsies and cleaning
up."
Paragraph 4 (Conclusion)
I. Brief summary of
overall theme: " I
first became interested in
medicine in high school when
I sat in on my brother's
medical school lectures, and
my commitment to this field
has driven and sustained me
in the face of so many
obstacles since my departure
from Russia."
II. A nod to the future:
" I
am eager to begin my medical
studies, eager to meet the
challenges I know they will
present."
Click here to create your own outline
COMPLETED ESSAY
Note: The below essay was not edited
by EssayEdge Editors. It appears as it
was initially reviewed by admissions
officers.
In 1979, in the Soviet city of Odessa
on the Black Sea, a young man confronted
a problem that would forever alter the
course of his existence. This
17-year-old Jewish man, who wanted most
to become a doctor, was denied the
possibility of admission to medical
school because of his religion. It could
have been an end to a dream.
I was that man. My determination to
become a physician, and my parents'
support of that ambition, turned our
lives upside down. We applied for a visa
to leave Russia; while we waited, my
parents and older brother were not
allowed to work, and all of us were
followed by the KGB. When we finally
arrived in America in 1980, we had to
make our way to Seattle without funds,
friends, or command of English. My
father, who is an engineer, was reduced
to working as a plumber, while I began
each day at 5 a.m. unloading trucks.
Life was a struggle, but we were all
sustained by a dream: my goal of
studying to become a doctor.
Within a year of my arrival here,
after attending night school to learn
the language, I was able to obtain a job
as an X-ray orderly at a local hospital.
In this position, and later as an
admitting aide, I was able over a period
of three years to learn much more about
American medicine. I had extensive
contact with patients, doctors, nurses,
and administrators and found I was able
to relate well to each group. I saw
suffering, healing, death, and all of
the other constants that make up any
hospital environment. I had an
opportunity to observe surgeries, from
mastectomies to hysterectomies and
bypasses, and to see firsthand the
importance of positive doctor-patient
interactions. I was fascinated by
everything I saw and became more
convinced than ever that I could one day
make my finest contribution as a
physician.
Beginning in 1984, I worked as a
volunteer in the autopsy room at my
university's pathology department,
amassing more than 500 hours'
experience. Just as the hospital
provided me with a chance to observe
diagnosis and treatment, the autopsy
room gave me a chance to find out what
goes wrong, what causes death. In that
room it was possible for me to see
death, smell it, touch it. I prepared
organs for examination by medical
students as well as assisted in
autopsies and cleaning up. I was even
awarded a highly sought-after
scholarship in recognition of my work.
I first became interested in medicine
in high school when I sat in on my
brother's medical school lectures, and
my commitment to this field has driven
and sustained me in the face of so many
obstacles since my departure from
Russia. Now, with my goal in sight and
so many recent experiences reaffirming
my passion for medicine, I know that all
of the dedication and sacrifice have
been worthwhile. I am eager to begin my
medical studies, eager to meet the
challenges I know they will present. |
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