The reason we
are devoting nearly an entire
section to tips on removing the
passive voice from your writing
is that it is both a very common
flaw and very
easily
correctable.
Defining Passive Voice
Passive voice
occurs when the subject and
object of an action are
inverted,
so the subject is the
recipient of the act instead of
its performer. For example:
Passive:
The man was bitten by the
dog.
Active: The dog bit
the man.
Passive:
I was told by my teacher to
come at
noon .
Active: My teacher
told me to come at noon.
Note that the
word "by" is present in these
two examples.
A sentence can be
passive without the word "by,"
but it is always at least
implied.
For example: "I was
given bad directions [by my
friend]."
Passive voice
always involves a to be
verb. To be verbs include
am, are, been,
being, is,
was, were. On the other
hand, remember that a sentence
can include
a to be verb
without being passive. For
example:
"I have
been involved in this
organization for several
years."
"He is leaving in five
minutes."
Later we will
discuss ways to avoid to be
verbs even when they are not
in
passive-voice constructions.
When Passive Voice is Acceptable
There are generally two cases
when passive voice is
acceptable:
1) when there is no
defined or tangible subject;
2)
when the emphasis really should
be on the object of the action.
In these cases, the alternative
is often awkward and sounds less
natural.
Case
1: He is called 'the
great one.'"
Awkward alternative:
"The general public calls
him 'the great one.'"
Case 2: "For the
fifth time this year,
Johnson was hit by a pitch. "
Awkward alternative:
"For the fifth time this
year, a pitch hit Johnson."
Achieving Active Writing
Active language comes not just
from avoiding passive voice but
further requires
the use of
strong action verbs. In addition
to avoiding to be verbs,
you should try
to replace
helping verbs such as have,
had, has, do, does, did and
other vague
verbs like got
and get.
Before:
"I had opportunities
to develop my skills."
After: "I sought
opportunities to develop my
skills."
Before:
"I got the promotion
through hard work."
After: "I earned
the promotion through
hard work."
Before: "She did
well in this competitive
environment."
After: "She
thrived in this
competitive environment. "
Before:
"My mother didn't want
to show up without a gift."
After: "My mother
hesitated to show up
without a gift."
Before:
"The salesman told
the audience about his
products."
After: "The salesman
promoted his products
to the audience."
The
last two examples demonstrate
the lack of clear distinction
between strong
and weak verbs.
There is nothing in the
dictionary that will tell you
that promoted
sounds
stronger than told. It is
largely a matter of how much
meaning the word
contains.
Promoted has a more precise
and nuanced meaning than told.
You
can certainly develop a strong
eye for these subtle issues, but
active writing
is an area where
professional editing can make a
substantial difference.
FROM
PASSIVE TO ACTIVE
Change these sentences from
passive voice to active voice,
or note if no change
should be
made.
1. H e
was given too many
chances to start over by
his friends.
________________________________________________________
2.
She was instructed to
remain seated by her
teacher.
________________________________________________________
3.
Their efforts were
obstructed by brilliant
defensive strategy.
________________________________________________________
4.
The machine was started
by the operator on time.
________________________________________________________
5.
The door was shut by the
angry mother.
________________________________________________________
Answers:
1.
His friends gave him too
many chances to start
over.
2.
Her teacher instructed
her to remain seated.
3.
Brilliant defensive
strategy obstructed
their efforts.
4.
The operator started the
machine on time.
5.
The angry mother shut
the door.
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