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Business school students
face a uniquely difficult challenge, because most
programs require a series of essays rather than a
single, comprehensive personal statement. This fact
alone should indicate the importance that business
schools place on your written responses. Part of the
reason for this extra required writing is that business
schools also place a stronger emphasis on practical
experience. Academic ability may still be the number-one
factor, but it's not enough to get you into a school,
just as it's not enough to guarantee your success in the
business world. Business schools pay close attention to
personal qualities, including your leadership,
communication skills, initiative, vision, and many more.
Grades and scores do not explain this side of you, and
neither does a resume.
Thus your admission will
depend largely on your ability to convey your
experiences and goals in written form. Self-assessment
is a significant part of this process, as is a careful
review of both your life and what you have done
professionally. Many successful professionals have
simply never had to articulate their accomplishments
before and now for the first time must communicate this
information in a very clear, concise, powerful manner
that is accessible to anyone, even without knowledge of
their field. Being able to convey both the substance and
significance of one's work life is crucial for all
applicants.
As the founder of
EssayEdge.com, the Net's largest admissions essay prep
company, I have seen firsthand the difference a
well-written application essay can make. Through its
free online admissions essay help course and 300
Harvard-educated editors, EssayEdge.com helps tens of
thousands of student each year improve their essays and
gain admission to business schools ranging from Harvard
to State U.
Having personally edited
over 2,000 admissions essays myself for EssayEdge.com, I
have written this article to help you avoid the most
common essay flaws. If you remember nothing else about
this article, remember this: Be Interesting. Be
Concise.
Why MBA?
Nearly all applications will
feature a question that asks about your reasons for
wanting to obtain an MBA at this stage of your career.
Some will explicitly ask you to tie these reasons into
your background and your goals. Even for schools that
don't offer this specific direction, you should plan on
such a discussion of past and future, as it provides
essential context for your application.
"Why MBA?" is often the
first question asked and without a doubt the most
important essay you will write. It includes essential
information about whether you're qualified, whether
you're prepared, and where you're headed. The other
essays fill in details about these fundamental points,
but a strong answer about, for example, how you overcame
a failure will not revive a candidacy that failed based
on a lack of career focus.
Every answer should contain
the following elements, unless the application has
separate questions addressing them individually:
1. Your long- and
short-term goals.
2. Your relevant past experience.
3. An assessment of your strengths and the gaps in
your experience/education.
4. How an MBA program will bridge your past and
future and fill in those gaps.
5. Why this particular MBA program is a good match
for your needs.
There are no groundbreaking
reasons for pursuing an MBA. This is not a place to aim
for bold originality. Rather, you should focus on
articulating detailed reasons that are specific to your
situation. Moreover, there is plenty of room to
distinguish yourself when discussing past experience and
future goals; the reasons themselves, however, come from
a more limited set. That said, you should not try to
drop buzzwords for their own sake. Make sure you tie
your specific objectives to other aspects of your
application.
TOP 10 BUSINESS SCHOOL
ESSAY WRITING TIPS
1. Don't Use
Company Jargon.
As a prospective business student, you have probably
spent the past few years in a corporate environment with
its own in-house terminology. Remember that you are
writing for a reader who hasn't attended your company's
meetings or contributed to its products. You should
certainly describe various aspects of your professional
life--your leadership skills, your career trajectory,
your triumph in the face of obstacles, and so on--but do
so in language that is as accessible to your reader as
it is to you. Imagine that you are composing a document
for a customer who must decide whether to buy a
particular product: you. Write clearly and personably.
2. Don't Bore the
Reader. Do Be Interesting.
Admissions officers have to read hundreds of essays, and
they must often skim. Abstract rumination has no place
in an application essay. Admissions officers aren't
looking for a new way to view the world; they're looking
for a new way to view you, the applicant. The best way
to grip your reader is to begin the essay with a
captivating snapshot. Notice how the blunt, jarring
"after" sentence creates intrigue and keeps the reader's
interest.
Before: I
am a compilation of many years of experiences gained
from overcoming the relentless struggles of life.
After: I
was six years old, the eldest of six children in the
Bronx, when my father was murdered.
3. Do Use Personal
Detail. Show, Don't Tell!
Good essays are concrete and grounded in personal
detail. They do not merely assert "I learned my lesson"
or that "these lessons are useful both on and off the
field." They show it through personal detail. "Show,
don't tell" means that if you want to relate a personal
quality, do so through your experiences without merely
asserting it.
Before: If
it were not for a strong support system which
instilled into me strong family values and morals, I
would not be where I am today.
After:
Although my grandmother and I didn't have a car or
running water, we still lived far more comfortably
than did the other families I knew. I learned an
important lesson: My grandmother made the most of
what little she had, and she was known and respected
for her generosity. Even at that age, I recognized
the value she placed on maximizing her resources and
helping those around her.
The first example is vague
and could have been written by anybody. But the second
sentence evokes a vivid image of something that actually
happened, placing the reader in the experience of the
applicant.
4. Do Be Concise.
Don't Be Wordy.
Wordiness not only takes up valuable space, but also
confuses the important ideas you're trying to convey.
Short sentences are more forceful because they are
direct and to the point. Certain phrases, such as "the
fact that," are usually unnecessary. Notice how the
revised version focuses on active verbs rather than
forms of "to be" and adverbs and adjectives.
Before: My
recognition of the fact that the project was finally
over was a deeply satisfying moment that will
forever linger in my memory.
After: Completing the project at last gave me
an enduring sense of fulfillment.
5. Do Address Your
Weaknesses. Don't Dwell on Them.
At some point on your application, you will have an
opportunity to explain deficiencies in your record, and
you should take advantage of it. Be sure to explain them
adequately: "I partied too much to do well on tests"
will not help your application. The best tactic is to
spin the negatives into positives by stressing your
attempts to improve; for example, mention your poor
first-quarter grades briefly, then describe what you did
to bring them up.
Before: My
grade point average provides an incomplete
evaluation of my potential and of the person I am
today, since it fails to reveal my passion and
determined spirit which make me unique and an asset
to the _______ School of Business.
After: Though my overall grade point average
was disappointing, I am confident that the upward
trend in my undergraduate transcript will continue
in business school. Furthermore, my success on the
GMAT and in the corporate world since graduation
reinforces my conviction that I have a keen business
sense--one that I hope to develop at the _______
School of Business.
6. Do Vary Your
Sentences and Use Transitions.
The best essays contain a variety of sentence lengths
mixed within any given paragraph. Also, remember that
transition is not limited to words like nevertheless,
furthermore or consequently. Good transition flows from
the natural thought progression of your argument.
Before: I
started playing piano when I was eight years old. I
worked hard to learn difficult pieces. I began to
love music.
After: I started playing the piano at the age
of eight. As I learned to play more difficult
pieces, my appreciation for music deepened.
7. Do Use Active
Voice Verbs.
Passive-voice expressions are verb phrases in which the
subject receives the action expressed in the verb.
Passive voice employs a form of the word to be, such as
was or were. Overuse of the passive voice makes prose
seem flat and uninteresting.
Before: The
lessons that have prepared me for my career as an
executive were taught to me by my mother.
After: My mother taught me lessons that will
prove invaluable in my career as an executive.
8. Do Seek Multiple
Opinions.
Ask your friends and family to keep these questions in
mind:
-
Does my essay have one
central theme?
-
Does my introduction
engage the reader? Does my conclusion provide
closure?
-
Do my introduction and
conclusion avoid summary?
-
Do I use concrete
experiences as supporting details?
-
Have I used active-voice
verbs wherever possible?
-
Is my sentence structure
varied, or do I use all long or short sentences?
-
Are there any cliches,
such as "cutting-edge" or "learned my lesson"?
-
Do I use transitions
appropriately?
-
What about the essay is
memorable?
-
What's the worst part of
the essay?
-
What parts of the essay
need elaboration or are unclear?
-
What parts of the essay
do not support my main argument?
-
Is every single sentence
crucial to the essay? This must be the case.
-
What does the essay
reveal about my personality?
9. Don't Wander. Do
Stay Focused.
Many applicants try to turn the application
essay into a complete autobiography. Not surprisingly,
they find it difficult to pack so much information into
such a short essay, and their essays end up sounding
more like a list of experiences than a coherent,
well-organized thought. Make sure that every sentence in
your essay exists solely to support one central theme.
10. Do Revise, Revise, Revise.
The first step in an improving any essay is to cut, cut,
and cut some more. EssayEdge.com's free admissions essay
help course and Harvard-educated editors will be
invaluable as you polish your essay to perfection. The
EssayEdge.com free help course guides you through the
entire essay-writing process, from brainstorming
worksheets and question-specific strategies for the
twelve most common essay topics to a description of ten
introduction types and editing checklists.
SAMPLE ESSAY
Please discuss the
factors, both professional and personal, influencing the
career decisions you have made that, in turn, have led
you to your current position. What are your career goals
for the future, and why is now the appropriate time to
pursue an MBA at NAME? How will you avail yourself of
the resources at NAME to achieve these goals?
Turkish news nowadays carry vivid images which have
become terrifyingly commonplace: the surface of the sea
littered with dead sheep; a landfill explosion leading
to a number of deaths; vendors offering
radiation-contaminated tea for half-price; a little
girl's death resulting from her fall through an open
sewage manhole in her schoolyard; radioactive waste sold
to unsuspecting scrap dealers; a twenty-year-old tanker
breaking into pieces, spilling hundreds of tons of crude
oil into the ocean and killing sea life all around.
The frequency with which these environmental disasters
fill Turkish news broadcasts -- along with the obvious
insensitivity of the authorities towards both
environment and health issues -- prompted me to learn
about ways to prevent these types of disasters. At the
age of fifteen, I decided to focus my studies on
environmental sciences in order to equip myself with the
technical tools I would need to make a real
contribution.
After earning a master's degree in environmental
sciences, I completed a professional international
management certificate program in order to gain a
management perspective of the field. I then realized
that, in order to effectively combine my technical
knowledge and management skills, I needed to accumulate
real-world experience. Specifically, working at a large
company would allow me to develop insight into various
industries, as well as an overarching vision of the
international business arena.
I have now worked for nearly two years in the energy and
environment group of Koc Holding, Turkey's first and
biggest diversified conglomerate. As a project engineer,
I am mainly responsible for our holding companies'
environment and energy sector investments. This position
has given me the opportunity to interact with
businessmen from all over the world, thereby expanding
my international perspective. Because of my outstanding
work performance, I was chosen to attend various
meetings with local and international governmental
bodies such as OPIC, IFC, and the World Bank. It is
highly unusual for a young associate to represent the
company at such events, and my self-confidence -- as
well as my management skills -- was further enhanced by
that successful experience.
While working in various business lines, including the
automotive industry, consumer durables, and the energy
sector, I have realized that the root cause of many
environmental problems is financial. I believe that many
people in the environmental sector are so ignorant or
insensitive that they will cheat customers to increase
profits. Furthermore, businesses do not prioritize
environmental investments; as a result, insufficient
funds are allocated to adequately prevent problems. For
instance, despite a population over eight million
people, Istanbul, Turkey's largest city, still lacks a
properly operating sewage system. In most of the areas
of the city, waste water is discharged directly into the
Bosphorus.
In the long term, I hope to help solve my country's
problems by starting my own environmental-services
business in Turkey. The company will serve both local
and international customers by providing cost-effective,
adaptable solutions ranging from waste management to
safety management. In order to accomplish this goal,
however, I must deepen my knowledge of the field.
Despite my experience, I still lack some important
knowledge and management skills, especially in finance,
marketing, and entrepreneurship. I am also aware that my
knowledge of American environmental issues is
insufficient. Since dealing with aspects of
international business will be an integral part of my
job as an entrepreneur, it is essential that I fill in
these gaps.
The NAME School's MBA program is the perfect bridge from
where I am to where I want to be. I am attracted by the
inventiveness and uniqueness of its entrepreneurial and
finance programs, and believe that I will increase my
practical knowledge of entrepreneurship by interacting
with my classmates. I value the fact that at NAME
entrepreneurial education does not stop at the
classroom, but rather continues through internships and
extracurricular activities. I feel that a business
school for entrepreneurs should balance a dose of theory
with real-world application, and NAME's curriculum and
hands-on experiences through associations, internships,
and the management field study provide such balance.
I am also drawn to NAME because of the school's emphasis
on teamwork and technology, reflected by such exciting
courses and programs as High Technology
Entrepreneurship, International Finance, 12-week field
application projects, and the global immersion program
directed to teach global thinking and global action.
Additionally, the school's profusion of student groups
and its flexible entrepreneurial program -- with
electives from 200 courses -- will allow me to tailor my
course of study directly to my career interests. It is
precisely this flexibility that I plan to draw on while
at NAME and beyond, by taking advantage of (and
contributing to) the school's strong international
alumni network.
Above all, a NAME MBA will help me strengthen both the
finance knowledge and the entrepreneurial skills
necessary to secure a position as an environmental
specialist in a multinational American-based firm. Such
a position, in turn, will prepare me to accomplish my
long-term ambition of building my own company. By
developing and maximizing the technical knowledge and
managerial skills I have already accumulated, NAME will
allow me to ultimately make a concrete and substantial
contribution to Turkey's environment.
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business school application essays, visit
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