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EssayEdge.com contains
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The best way to approach
your personal statement for graduate school is to
imagine that you have five minutes with someone from the
admissions committee. How would you go about making the
best case for yourself while holding the listener's
interest? What would you include and omit in your story?
Figuring out the answer to these questions is critical
to successfully preparing an effective statement.
To arrive at these
answers, you should begin by asking yourself two
specific questions:
- Why have I chosen to
attend graduate school this specific field, and why
did I choose to apply to this particular school's
program?
- What are my
qualifications for admission?
The answers will not
necessarily come easily to you, but this exercise will
have great practical benefit in readying you to write an
outstanding personal statement. By answering each
question thoroughly, you will have given much thought to
yourself, your experiences, and your goals, thereby
laying the groundwork for formulating an interesting and
persuasive presentation of your own personal story.
As the founder of
EssayEdge.com, the Net's largest admissions essay prep
company, I have seen firsthand the difference a
well-written application essay can make. Through its
free online admissions essay help course and 300
Harvard-educated editors, EssayEdge.com helps tens of
thousands of student each year improve their essays and
gain admission to graduate schools ranging from Harvard
to State U.
Having personally edited
over 2,000 admissions essays myself for EssayEdge.com, I
have written this article to help you avoid the most
common essay flaws. If you remember nothing else about
this article, remember this: Be Interesting. Be
Concise.
Why Graduate School?
Graduate school is a
serious commitment, and it may have been your goal for a
long time. Describing your early exposure to a field can
offer effective insight into your core objectives. Watch
out, however, that you do not your point in such a
cliched, prepackaged way as to make your reader cringe.
For example, you should not start your essay, "I have
always wanted to...." or "I have always known that _______
was my calling." Instead, you should discuss specific
events that led to your interest in the field.
Graduate school is, of
course, a means to an end, and admissions committees
prefer students who know where they're going and to what
use they'll put their education (though the occasional
soul-searcher, who may exhibit exceptional raw
potential, is welcomed). For many people, the long-term
goal is to work in academia, and to differentiate
yourself in such cases, you can stress more specific
objectives such as your research interests.
Note: Read the
instructions carefully. Sometimes schools will ask for a
statement of purpose describing your specific research
interests in lieu of, or in addition to, a personal
statement that emphasizes your character and qualities.
For these types of essays, you can assume that a faculty
member will be reading your statement, but it should
still be accessible enough for a non-specialist to
understand. Remember that such essays should also still
aim to engage the reader in a way that conveys your own
enthusiasm for the subject matter.
Avoid mistakes like
discussing the school's rank or prestige, or simply
offering generic praise. Instead, mention faculty
members by name and indicate some knowledge of their
work. Consider contacting faculty members first and
discussing their current research projects and your
interest in studying under them. Then refer to these
contacts in your essay.
Why Am I Qualified?
The way to prove your
qualification is not to list attributes you believe you
possess but to discuss concrete experiences that show
your abilities and qualities. As always, details are
paramount. The rest of your application has already
summarized your accomplishments and your activities.
Show the reader what you did in concrete terms, and
again, highlight your active roles.
The experiences that
demonstrate your qualification are not necessarily
distinct from those that explain your motivation. You
shouldn't plan on dividing the essay into two separate
sections for each, but rather organize the structure by
topic and extrapolate insights as they develop. It's
important that you think of the essay as an integrated
whole, not as a checklist of questions you must answer.
Focus on research
experience, since research will be your main job for the
duration of your studies. Be specific about what you
did. If you worked for a year under a professor, you
might consider emphasizing one particular project and
exploring that in depth. The experience does not have to
have been a major undertaking: Any practical experience
can be used as long as you demonstrate your enthusiasm
and aptitude for the field of study.
Remember to keep the
discussion personal. Do not get bogged down in minute
details and jargon. Ultimately, the focus of the story
should remain on you and your growth or success.
TOP 10 GRADUATE SCHOOL ESSAY WRITING TIPS
1. Don't Write a
Term Paper.
As a prospective graduate student, you may be tempted to
try to impress your reader with an already tight grasp
of academic style. Resist this temptation! You will have
plenty of time to produce labyrinthine sentences and
sophisticated vocabulary. Your reader will have seen too
many essays to appreciate bewilderingly advanced prose.
Write clearly and personably.
2. Don't Bore
the Reader. Do Be Interesting.
Admissions officers have to read hundreds of essays, and
they must often skim. Abstract rumination has no place
in an application essay. Admissions officers aren't
looking for a new way to view the world; they're looking
for a new way to view you, the applicant. The best way
to grip your reader is to begin the essay with a
captivating snapshot. Notice how the blunt, jarring
"after" sentence creates intrigue and keeps the reader's
interest.
Before:
I am a compilation of many years of experiences
gained from overcoming the relentless struggles of
life.
After: I was six years old, the eldest of six
children in the Bronx, when my father was murdered.
3. Do Use
Personal Detail. Show, Don't Tell!
Good essays are concrete and grounded in
personal detail. They do not merely assert "I learned my
lesson" or that "these lessons are useful both on and
off the field." They show it through personal detail.
"Show, don't tell" means that if you want to relate a
personal quality, do so through your experiences without
merely asserting it.
Before:
If it
were not for a strong support system which instilled
into me strong family values and morals, I would not
be where I am today.
After: Although my grandmother and I didn't
have a car or running water, we still lived far more
comfortably than did the other families I knew. I
learned an important lesson: My grandmother made the
most of what little she had, and she was known and
respected for her generosity. Even at that age, I
recognized the value she placed on maximizing her
resources and helping those around her.
The first example is
vague and could have been written by anybody. But the
second sentence evokes a vivid image of something that
actually happened, placing the reader in the experience
of the applicant.
4. Do Be Concise. Don't Be Wordy.
Wordiness not only takes up valuable space, but also
confuses the important ideas you're trying to convey.
Short sentences are more forceful because they are
direct and to the point. Certain phrases, such as "the
fact that," are usually unnecessary. Notice how the
revised version focuses on active verbs rather than
forms of "to be" and adverbs and adjectives.
Before:
My recognition of the fact that the book was finally
finished was a deeply satisfying moment that will
forever linger in my memory.
After: Completing the book at last gave me an
enduring sense of fulfillment.
5. Do Address
Your Weaknesses. Don't Dwell on Them.
The personal statement may be your only opportunity to
explain deficiencies in your application, and you should
take advantage of it. Be sure to explain them
adequately: "I partied too much to do well on tests"
will not help your application. The best tactic is to
spin the negatives into positives by stressing your
attempts to improve; for example, mention your poor
first-quarter grades briefly, then describe what you did
to bring them up.
6. Do Vary Your Sentences and Use Transitions.
The best essays contain a variety of sentence lengths
mixed within any given paragraph. Also, remember that
transition is not limited to words like nevertheless,
furthermore or consequently. Good transition flows from
the natural thought progression of your argument.
Before:
I started playing piano when I was eight years old.
I worked hard to learn difficult pieces. I began to
love music.
After: I started playing the piano at the age
of eight. As I learned to play more difficult
pieces, my appreciation for music deepened.
7. Do Use Active
Voice Verbs.
Passive-voice expressions are verb phrases in which the
subject receives the action expressed in the verb.
Passive voice employs a form of the word to be, such as
was or were. Overuse of the passive voice makes prose
seem flat and uninteresting.
Before:
The lessons that have prepared me for my graduate
studies were taught to me by my mother.
After: My mother taught me lessons that will
prove invaluable as I pursue my research interests.
8. Do Seek
Multiple Opinions.
Ask your friends and family to keep these questions in
mind:
- Does my essay have
one central theme?
- Does my introduction
engage the reader? Does my conclusion provide
closure?
- Do my introduction
and conclusion avoid summary?
- Do I use concrete
experiences as supporting details?
- Have I used
active-voice verbs wherever possible?
- Is my sentence
structure varied, or do I use all long or short
sentences?
- Are there any
cliches, such as "cutting-edge" or "learned my
lesson"?
- Do I use transitions
appropriately?
- What about the essay
is memorable?
- What's the worst
part of the essay?
- What parts of the
essay need elaboration or are unclear?
- What parts of the
essay do not support my main argument?
- Is every single
sentence crucial to the essay? This must be the
case.
- What does the essay
reveal about my personality?
9. Don't Wander.
Do Stay Focused.
Many applicants try to turn the personal statement into
a complete autobiography. Not surprisingly, they find it
difficult to pack so much information into such a short
essay, and their essays end up sounding more like a list
of experiences than a coherent, well-organized thought.
Make sure that every sentence in your essay exists
solely to support one central theme.
10. Do Revise, Revise, Revise.
The first step in an improving any essay is to cut, cut,
and cut some more. EssayEdge.com's free admissions essay
help course and Harvard-educated editors will be
invaluable as you polish your essay to perfection. The
EssayEdge.com free help course guides you through the
entire essay-writing process, from brainstorming
worksheets and question-specific strategies for the
twelve most common essay topics to a description of ten
introduction types and editing checklists.
SAMPLE ESSAY
I have been planning a career in geological sciences for
several years, but as an undergraduate I concentrated on
getting a solid background in math and science. After
graduation, I took a job to allow myself time to
thoroughly think through my plans and to expose myself
to a variety of work situations. This strategy has been
very valuable to me in rounding out my career plans.
During the past 18 months
I have had firsthand experience with computers in a wide
array of business applications. This has stimulated me
to think about ways in which computers could be used for
scientific research. One idea that particularly
fascinates me is mathematical modeling of natural
systems, and I think those kinds of techniques could be
put to good use in geological science. I have always
enjoyed and been strong in areas that require logical,
analytical thought, and I am anxious to combine my
interest in earth science with my knowledge of, and
aptitude for, computer-related work. There are several
specific areas that I have already studied that I think
would lend themselves to research based on computing
techniques, including mineral phase relations in igneous
petrology and several topics in structural geology.
I have had both
lecture/lab and field courses in structural geology, as
well as a short module dealing with plate tectonics, and
I am very interested in the whole area. I would like to
explore structural geology and tectonics further at the
graduate level. I am also interested in learning more
about geophysics. I plan to focus on all these areas in
graduate school while at the same time continuing to
build up my overall knowledge of geology.
My ultimate academic goal
is to earn a Ph.D., but enrolling first in a master's
program will enable me to explore my various interests
and make a more informed decision about which specific
discipline I will want to study in depth. As far as
long-term plans, I hope to get a position at a
university or other institution where I can indulge my
primary impulse, which is to be involved in scientific
research, and also try my hand at teaching.
My decision to focus on
math and science as an undergraduate and to explore the
computer industry after college has equipped me with a
unique set of strengths to offer this program. The depth
of my interest in geology has only grown in my time away
from academia, and although I have identified several
possible areas of specialization through prior studies,
I look forward to contributing my fresh perspective on
all subjects.
To read many more
sample law school personal statements, visit
EssayEdge.com.
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