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"You can't shake hands with a clenched fist."
- Indira Gandhi
The
most significant gesture in business and in life is
a handshake. In many cultures it is the unspoken
message that accompanies our words. A handshake
often takes place when you meet someone new, when
you are greeting someone you haven't seen in a
while, when you leave a party or meeting, when you
offer congratulations or when you agree on a
contract or working arrangement.
Historians agree that the handshake was most likely
developed several hundred years ago in England as a
method to communicate that you were empty-handed and
unarmed during a meeting. Weapons were often
concealed in the left sleeve so shaking was done
with the left hand. As more people began to travel
without weapons it became common to shake with the
right hand. Certain historical figures took liberty
with shaking hands and created their own custom.
George Washington decided that shaking hands was for
the common people so he bowed when greeting people
in public.
The
intent in shaking hands is to make contact
"web-to-web" with the other person's hand. The web
of your hand is that part between your thumb and
forefinger. Extend your hand with your fingers
together, in a vertical position, with the thumb up
and slightly to the side. Once you make contact
with the web of the other person's hand, close your
thumb over the back of the hand and give a slight
squeeze with your fingertips. Here's where so many
people go wrong. Some move in for the kill and give
a bone-crushing handshake that brings tears to the
eyes of the other person. Then there are those who
stop at the first hint of contact and never add the
little squeeze that indicates there is life and
energy in the body. The result is the "wimpy" or
"limp" handshake, sometimes referred to as the "dead
fish."
Every country in the world has its own customs for
meeting and greeting. Most cultures encourage
handshaking more often than the United States. As
always, you need to do your research on meeting and
greeting before you embark on an overseas trip. If
you are a woman, this is critically important since
certain cultures do not allow women to touch a man
who is not related to them.
Here are some of the most common handshaking rituals
around the world:
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In Japan it is normal
to shake hands frequently. Sometimes a bow is
included or substituted.
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In Europe you shake
hands whenever you meet someone even if you know
them well.
-
Russians tend to shake
hands frequently but never while wearing gloves.
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A strong handshake and
good grip are appreciated in South Africa.
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A vigorous, pumping
handshake is normal for the Chinese.
-
Men in Arabian
cultures encourage a long and limp handshake along
with a specific verbal greeting.
-
People in Panama greet
each other with eye contact combined with shaking
hands.
-
The French always
shake hands in business meetings but all other
greetings involve kissing the cheeks.
-
In Kuwait shaking
hands is only used for male strangers who meet the
first time. Shaking hands with an unrelated female
is considered inappropriate.
-
Residents of India and
Pakistan shake hands by grasping your hand in both
of their hands and holding your hand briefly.
It
is considered impolite to refuse to shake hands but
be prepared in case you meet someone who says "No"
to handshakes because of arthritis, joint problems
or a communicable illness such as a cold. The
person who is unable to shake hands should always
offer an apology and a brief explanation so that the
other person does not feel shunned.
You
may occasionally encounter someone who does not
respond in any way to your outstretched hand. When
that happens, simply withdraw your hand and ignore
the snub. It's the other person's problem, not
yours.
Knowing when and how to shake hands is an important
business skill whether you are working in your own
office or if you are traveling to a meeting 5,000
miles away. Always give the impression of someone
who is polite and confident by cultivating a firm,
but not crushing, grip and always offer your hand
when appropriate.
Copyright
2007, Lydia Ramsey, Inc. All rights reserved.
Reprint rights granted so long as article and
by-line are published intact and with all links made
live.
Lydia Ramsey is a
business etiquette expert, professional speaker,
corporate trainer and author. Learn from Lydia by
using her four LIVE business etiquette broadcasts on
DVD or by reading her newest book "Lydia Ramsey's
Little Book of Table Manners". You can purchase
these business etiquette tools at (http://www.mannersthatsell.com/tms/index.html).
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